Saturday, September 9, 2017

Paragraph Length...How long is too long?

While I normally don't focus too much attention on paragraph length, I've been advised that some of my paragraphs are too long.  So, I researched as any modern writer would, using a search engine on the internet, and found an abundance of information regarding the subject.  None of the guidance, however, provided a clear answer.  I welcome any input, especially if it is easy to apply, and adaptable to an editing process as well as writing.  
See the example paragraph below in italics.  This is from "Plus or Minus Two Percent," and as written in my latest draft.  The asterisks show potential paragraph breaks, which I inserted merely to try to shorten the "long" paragraph.  I think it all fits together well, so that's why I wrote it that way, of course.  It seems to fit  Camera Shot, that I found surfing the net.  With credit to Zen in the Art of Writing, Ray Bradbury offers this simple and useful idea: He says "Think of each paragraph as a single camera shot in a movie. Every time the shot changes (e.g. change in camera angle), start a new paragraph."
Another consideration is Character Tempo...at what pace is the character experiencing events?  Rapid events=shorter paragraphs, and slower events=longer paragraphs.  I found both of these bold-faced ideas at:https://writers.stackexchange.com/questions/12734/simple-rules-for-separating-paragraphs-in-books
Insight anyone?  Thanks.

Relentless heat wasn’t helping his condition.  It was twilight, with the air still thick and wet from the moisture being cooked out of the earth, rivers, and nearby Gulf of Mexico under the searing sun, and the daytime temperature had hardly subsided.  Even though James had showered and changed into clean, freshly laundered clothes before he left his apartment, he felt like he’d just walked into a steam room.  His clothes clung to him, and he could feel sheets of perspiration collecting on his forehead, on his nose, and under his eyes, with balls of sweat accumulating on his lower back where his shirt wasn’t touching his skin to absorb the wetness.  **While he anxiously waited in line, the sweat balls formed large drops and then rolled down the center of his back to his waistband.  He could feel the growing wet spot, and was self-conscious that it would be noticeable before long.  There was little he could do to mitigate the problem, and to make adjustments to his clothing would have done little more than draw attention to his predicament.  He could feel the moisture seeping down into the seat of his pants, and he imagined it looking like he’d pissed himself.  **James let his fear of embarrassment exacerbate his already apprehensive state of mind, and he began to wonder if not for the scorching temperature and muggy air, would he feel more relaxed.  Finally, after surveying the crowd, it was slightly reassuring that nobody seemed to by gawking at him, and there were plenty of others that were uncomfortably hot, sweating, and outwardly agitated by the long, slow moving line.  That helped snap him out of that ill at ease state once again, and James silently scolded himself for being so juvenile.  This wasn’t elementary school, and these weren’t a bunch of snot-nosed spoiled brats and bullies.  These were others just like him, they were all being equally subjected to the adverse climate, and everyone was anxious to get inside and cool their heels a little and unwind as they most certainly deserved to.  

No comments:

Post a Comment